i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
