So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
