I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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