In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
