8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
