i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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