i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
As shirtless as possible
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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