I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
