there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize