I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
