I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize