I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
