people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
