I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
