you guys were way drunker than both of me
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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