my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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