I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
