dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize