How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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