I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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