Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
time to smoke my breakfast
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
