is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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