You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
