I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
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