If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize