Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize