We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize