ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
