just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
