You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
