We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
