My brain says no but my pants say off.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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