Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
