After last night, I could never be a politician.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
