I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
whose parrot is this?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
