is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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