Ambien. No doubt about it.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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