His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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