Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize