Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
