i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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