I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
