When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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