I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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