k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
