Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
