so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Randomize
