there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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