jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
