Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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