Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Jerry, you need to find god
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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