he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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