Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
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