I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize