yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
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